You know, whether we like to admit it or not. We all got our annoyances when it comes to horse riding. Below you can find a list of mines. And before you go ahead and read about them, just remember to take them with a pinch of salt. Taste better that way.
1. It’s a beautiful day outside. You decide to take your horse out for a little ride. Little did you know that protein was on the menu that day and you would end up eating about ten flies. Mmmm. Yummeh
2. Unlike us humans, horses can poop wherever they want to. Lucky them… for some horses they seem to truly enjoy this being in the cleaning area. This isn’t really an issue, the issue is their humans who just thinks that it’s a bouquet of flowers and leaves it there for the next person and horse that comes around. Thanks, really appreciate that.
3. You are about to mount your horse before the group lesson. As the good human being that you are, you use a step up(so that the horse back stays good). However you’re horse thinks otherwise and starts moving. Then you hear this little squeaky voice behind you “oh what a naughty horse, isn’t he trained”. Thanks for your comment dude, exactly what I want to hear at that moment. Next time your horse is naughty it’s going on Facebook!
4. So you’re in the arena, doing your thing. Having that Anky moment. And this person, who thinks that no one else is there cuts straight in front of you. Anky moment gone. Gosh, sometimes I really hope I never meet these people in traffic. I don’t wanna know how they are there.
5. “Maria, move your right leg and left hand, and Grumpy will do this, this and this”. Right. Let me just spend another 1 minute to remember which side was left and which side was right and I’ll come back to you… #slowbrain
6. Amma just leave my wip here for one second and once I come back Abrakadabra, it’s gone. In some people’s head they consider it “borrowing”. Sorry mac, let me give you a newsflash, if you “borrow” my wip and I don’t get it back. That’s stealing.
7. “Oh, you were supposed to lunge in the paddock at 7?” “Sorry, I was just zipping my tea, chatting along and the time just flew away” no worries mcflurry, you just wasted my time that I unfortunately won’t get back because at 730 it’s someone else’s turn. “Oh come on, don’t be so strict on the time”. Lady, let’s do this discussion over again when your horse gets five min less every time because of me. Bet that pipe will have another tone.
8. You’re ready to rock and roll and put your cap on. Little did you know that the hair monster was out to get you that day and that one stray of hair will almost make you wish your horse would buck so you would forget it.
9. Tar. Probably if not the worst smelling thing in the world. Hence why I do not touch it. Call me primadonna, I don’t care. It’s either that or my whole stomach turning. But then, you got those people loving to tar the hoofs of their horses and in the meanwhile they tar everything around them as well. So there I am, walking around with no worry on my mind and I step right into it….. damn you human being!
10. It’s been beautiful weather all day. So you buckle up to lunge and then as you step into the paddock or wherever you do it, the floodgates open. It’s like heaven thinks you’re dirty and needs to get a wee bit cleaner. Not only is lunging boring enough, but let’s get that shower in as well shall we.